I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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