If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
