I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
