the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
