the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
