Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
