DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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