omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
