Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
