he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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