I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
why is half of my head shaved?
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