Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize