Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
