Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
