Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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