I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
