dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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