What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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