I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
