You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
