You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
