well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
