I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
