I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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