My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
