yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
