she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
