I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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