the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
