America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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