naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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