I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
