I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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