apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
