problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
