yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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