what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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