he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is the high leading the old right now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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