they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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