I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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