me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
