glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
