I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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