I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
