I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
