Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
