Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
