We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
