At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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