You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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