my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
nutella sex= disaster
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
