Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
