One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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