She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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