I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
