if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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