As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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