from now on my penis is your penis
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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