Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize