Don't EVER smell your tampon
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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