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• (817): View more from Texas

  I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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• (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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• (408): View more from California

  You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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• (310): View more from California

  I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara

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• (631): View more from New York

  It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.

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