Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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